A Little Bit of Momsense

Today I feel like doling out a little Momsense.  Two of my very good friends, let’s call them Curly Girl and Blonde Mama, will soon become new mom’s and have lots of questions and concerns.  I am in no way a Mommy expert, but I do think I learned a few things along the way.

Here is the first bit of Momsense that I would like to impart. 

There is nothing that you can do to make the baby or babies, in Blonde Mama’s case, come faster.  I would like to say that walking will do it, but I walked all over my extremely hilly neighborhood for two weeks and it did absolutely nothing at all.  I walked up stairs.  I walked down stairs.  I walked up and down Labor Hill (fondly named after many women I know went into labor after walking up and down it) in Fort Tryon Park. I ate spicy food.  I had sex.  Nothing worked. Simply accept the fact that you are going to have to wait.  You have no control over this situation.  You can either stress and worry about it or you can take a deep breath and…..

Pamper yourself while you wait.  You should really take this advice seriously.  Go and get a pedicure.  Hell, get five pedicures.  Once I hit 7 1/2 months I got a pedicure every week.  If I had to go through the pain of labor I was going to do it with pretty nails. 
A massage is also hugely satisfying, but please make sure that you go to a licensed massage therapist who is trained in prenatal massage.  Also make sure that they have the correct table for prenatal massages.  There is nothing less relaxing or less attractive than a naked pregnant woman trying to prop herself up with pillows under ever nook and cranny of her body.  Trust me.  I’ve been there.

Sleep!!!  I know that everyone says this and I know it gets annoying.  Please have the strength to not get annoyed and sleep.  I am begging you.  You will thank me.  Don’t feel guilty about doing it.  Get comfy on your couch with the remote and a book and then just pass out.  Don’t worry about all of the things you need to get ready.  Don’t worry about that sink full of dishes.  Don’t worry about cribs, strollers, bottles, nipples….Just sleep.  Try napping at least once a day.  If you listen to anything I say please listen to this. I am saying this as your friend.

Try not to watch A Baby Story on TLC.  I know it is tempting.  You just need to know.  This show will freak you out.  It will make you nervous.  It will make you doubt everything you ever thought about childbirth and it will show you things you wish you never saw.  Stay away from this show.

Bringing Home Baby is an OK show.  You don’t have to watch any dramatic births or freaky things that go on in the delivery room.  This show is all about what happens the during the 36 hours after the baby comes home.  Nothing too damaging will happen during this show.  It will, however, make you think that your friends and family will be bringing you meals and washing your dishes.  Please don’t be disappointed if this doesn’t happen.  Sorry, but everyone has dishes to do and meals to make.  If this does happen then you have great friends and family members and remember to send them a card acknowledging this.

BHB will also make you think that you have to bathe your baby right when you get home.  This is ridiculous.  You do not have to do this right away.  Just chill.  Bathe yourself first, baby later.  This is a bit of advice that you should remember for years to come.

The last thing that BHB will do to you is make you have Baby Gear Envy.  The people on these shows sometimes have some seriously cool Baby Gear.  The Boppy Pillow is always greener on another mom’s lap.  It is.  I thought that I loved my Boppy Pillow until I saw some of the ones these new mom’s were sporting.  Sigh…..  You know the song that says, “Love the one your with.”  I say, “Love the stuff you’ve got.”  It will save you a lot of money that you don’t need to spend.

OK.  That’s it for tonight.  I hope this was a little helpful.  To my preggo friends, You are doing a great job.  It’s almost over.  Everything is going to be alright.  You are beautiful.

Peace.

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