As those words came out of my mouth I simply wanted to smack myself in the face. What is wrong with me?? “The sign says don’t feed the geese!” Blah Blah Blah…..Oh yeah and while your at it, keep off the grass, don’t blow bubbles in your milk, and keep your finger out of your nose. Again…what is wrong with me. I actually told a little boy, I did not know by the way, not to feed the geese today because the sign said so. THE SIGN! When did I start obeying signs like “Don’t Feed the Geese”? Why can’t we feed the geese? Really? Doesn’t everyone feed the geese? Isn’t it like a family affair to go out on a Sunday and feed the geese and the ducks? Don’t forget the ducks. Those poor ducks need nourishment too.
So how did I find myself on a beautiful sunny day telling a little boy, I didn’t even know, not to feed the geese? I don’t know. What’s happening to me? When did I become the person who says things like that? Where did the “Damn the Man” gal I used to be go? I used to be cool you know. I used to sneak into concerts. I once tried to give a cop a beer. In high school I skipped an entire week by calling myself in sick and spent my time at the beach instead. There a few other choice things I could share, but I know my mom is reading this so I’ll stop while I’m ahead. I’m sure she will be asking me about the skipping school thing tomorrow.
I digress though. Back to the geese. So here I am on a beautiful day, with my son, next to a lake that is full of geese and I am the Geese Police. Hmm that rhymes. Anyway, after luring my son away from the geese to look at worms I noticed a nice couple approach the lake with a pretty big bag. To my astonishment this clean cut couple reached into the bag and GASP…fed the geese! They began to draw a crowd with their fancy geese feeding and the next thing you know I found myself drawn to them as well. Then I asked them for a handful of puffed wheat. That’s what they were feeding them. Puffed wheat. Maybe puffed wheat calms geese. I now know never to bring bread. Maybe that’s why those tough Bronx geese were chasing us. They chased us because our bread sucked. That’s why.