The Sign Says "Do Not Feed the Geese"

As those words came out of my mouth I simply wanted to smack myself in the face.  What is wrong with me?? “The sign says don’t feed the geese!” Blah Blah Blah…..Oh yeah and while your at it, keep off the grass, don’t blow bubbles in your milk, and keep your finger out of your nose.  Again…what is wrong with me. I actually told a little boy, I did not know by the way, not to feed the geese today because the sign said so.  THE SIGN! When did I start obeying signs like “Don’t Feed the Geese”?  Why can’t we feed the geese?  Really?  Doesn’t everyone feed the geese?  Isn’t it like a family affair to go out on a Sunday and feed the geese and the ducks? Don’t forget the ducks. Those poor ducks need nourishment too.

I never knew feeding the geese was such a taboo thing. Back in November my family and I went to go and feed the geese.  We thought it would be a really fun way to spend the afternoon.  Instead it was an afternoon of me wielding a large stick like a torch to keep the vicious Bronx geese at bay.  Those suckers were out for blood.  Forget the bread that we brought.  They could have cared less about the bread.  They wanted blood and our only child.  I know it.  And even though they were hissing and chasing us we still gave them our bread.  Because that’s what you do.  You feed the geese.  How else would they get food if we didn’t feed them? Come on, am I right or am I right?

So how did I find myself on a beautiful sunny day telling a little boy, I didn’t even know, not to feed the geese?  I don’t know.  What’s happening to me?  When did I become the person who says things like that?  Where did the “Damn the Man” gal I used to be go?  I used to be cool you know.  I used to sneak into concerts.  I once tried to give a cop a beer.  In high school I skipped an entire week by calling myself in sick and spent my time at the beach instead.  There a few other choice things I could share, but I know my mom is reading this so I’ll stop while I’m ahead.  I’m sure she will be asking me about the skipping school thing tomorrow.

I digress though.  Back to the geese.  So here I am on a beautiful day, with my son, next to a lake that is full of geese and I am the Geese Police.  Hmm that rhymes.  Anyway, after luring my son away from the geese to look at worms I noticed a nice couple approach the lake with a pretty big bag.  To my astonishment this clean cut couple reached into the bag and GASP…fed the geese!  They began to draw a crowd with their fancy geese feeding and the next thing you know I found myself drawn to them as well.  Then I asked them for a handful of puffed wheat.  That’s what they were feeding them. Puffed wheat.  Maybe puffed wheat calms geese.  I now know never to bring bread.  Maybe that’s why those tough Bronx geese were chasing us.  They chased us because our bread sucked.  That’s why.

I shared my handful of puffed wheat with Jack and the rest of the little kids standing on shore and we had a ball.  No geese or children were harned during the today’s feeding and I have officially hung up my badge as the Geese Police.

Peace.

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2 Comments

Filed under Bronx, geese, puffed wheat

2 responses to “The Sign Says "Do Not Feed the Geese"

  1. Feeding the geese/ducks was always an event that we looked forward to after church on Sundays. We brought bread or any other stale rolls we had from the week and spent an hour or so with nature at the lake in Stony Brook. Now a days I try not to step in geese poo on the way to the door of the building where I work. Two geese majestically sit by the door welcoming me each morning. I wonder if I should feed them? Maybe I'll bring some bread on Monday!!

  2. Patti Carroll

    It may be fun to feed them, but did you know each goose poops up to 1.5 POUNDS a DAY!!. Do you walk through that? Does you child ride a trike throughout that? How about the kids who play basketball–on a court the geese have decided to use for an outhouse. I’m no germ-o-phobe, but they leave a filthy mess and your feeding them only contributes to it.

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