Don’t Eat That! It’s Been Peed On!

Yesterday was just one of those days. You know the ones. The ones where you don’t get a moment to yourself. The days that you are constantly called on to play, play, and play some more. I’m not complaining. I really love to play. That’s one of the perks of being a SAHM. I get to play with cool toys everyday. My playdoh sculptures are really improving and my Lincoln Log Forts are showing real creativity.

Even though I love to play I do enjoy having at least a few moments to myself. That’s what Curious George is for right? I kept trying for that moment for myself yesterday, but continued getting cut off at the pass every time.

First, I left the presence of my two and a half year old to go change my clothes. We live in a pretty small two bedroom apartment so it’s not like I had to go upstairs or was out of earshot. When I returned I found Jack standing on top of a small table playing with the lamp. Hmmm. He has never done that before and I immediately recognized this as a ploy for more attention. I fixed him a bowl of yogurt and put on an episode of Curious George and then walked away to use the bathroom. What a great mom.

I was only gone a total of four and a half minutes. When I returned to the living room Jack was covered in vanilla yogurt. I mean covered. It was in his hair, coating his arms, and slathered all over his face. I asked what he was doing and he replied that he was putting on lotion. Well, it certainly did look like lotion and it smelled great too, but yogurt doesn’t dry very well.

As I was cleaning the yogurt off of Jack’s face I spied our cat Jabba walking by. Something seemed amiss, but I wasn’t sure what it was. It only took one more look at the poor cat to realize that he too was covered in yogurt. He had a big blob on his nose, yogurt stripes down his back and a big dab on the tip of his tail. Great! Now I have to try and clean yogurt off of a very grouchy, elderly cat who doesn’t like to have his back or tail touched. Wahoo.

Thankfully, Jabba was pretty cooperative and I did not get scratched (miracle). Jack on the other hand was not as cooperative. He had so much yogurt on his head that I needed to give the kid a bath in the middle of the day. Not that I minded. It was a rainy day yesterday and were stuck inside anyway. The problem was that Jack thought that the yogurt on his head made him a yogurt monster. He walked around growling for about an hour.

Then Daddy came home. Unaccustomed to Jack standing right next to him to watch him pee he was unaware that while he was peeing Jack was holding a long chocolate cracker right in his stream and then tried to eat it. Yep! That right. It was a new one for me too. A pretty gross new one. I was in the bedroom and all I heard was, “NO! NO! NO! DO NOT EAT THAT!!” This was of course followed by loud crying a Jack screaming, “I want Mommy!”

My husband confiscated the peed upon cracker and insisted that Jack not be given another one. I of course had a different opinion and undermined his decision and gave Jack another cracker anyway. I mean, I don’t think the kid knew how bad urine tasted and to him Daddy’s pee probably seemed like water. Actually, I don’t know what the kid was thinking, but isn’t almost eating a pee pee cracker punishment enough? I think it is.

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Filed under curious george, lincoln logs, pee, yogurt

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