“Why are you getting so defensive?” I can’t tell you how much I despise those words. They are extremely manipulative. When someone asks or tells you that you are being defensive it gives them the power in a conversation or argument. The person on the receiving end is then put in the position of defending themselves. There is no way to come back from the phrase “Why are being so defensive?” without actually being defensive. I try really hard to not use those words at all just like I try not to say “calm down” or “relax”. So to all those smarmy people out there who’s ego is so inflated that they feel they have the right to put others in uncomfortable positions of defending themselves…PISS OFF!